


cigarettes and ruined friendships

by thirdwheelerjames



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:21:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22117816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirdwheelerjames/pseuds/thirdwheelerjames
Summary: Remus hates parties, likes cigarettes, and has a crush on a certain animagus who sends mixed signs.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 100





	cigarettes and ruined friendships

Remus entered the Common Room smelling like cigarettes and sweat, even though it was a cool night. He had been part of the party held a few hours ago, but had escaped it when his mates began to fall into the drunken bliss that every Friday night brought. He had gone to the library for a while, in an attempt to continue with his reading, a sweet, classic, muggle book he was quite enjoying. However, his thoughts had drifted, once again, to a very specific someone who just wouldn’t leave his mind. Therefore, smoking for a while by the Astronomy Tower as he waited for the party to end seemed like his best option.

After three cigarettes and too much shivering due to the cold air, Remus decided to call it a night. He had been hoping, the entire way towards the Gryffindor Common Room, that the party had ended, so that he could go to his room without being bothered because _why aren’t you getting drunk with us, Moony? Here, have a drink_. Yet, Remus was the kind of person who rarely got what he wanted, which was why he should have expected that _specific someone_ waiting for him with an expression he couldn’t quite decipher.

Sirius was half-sitting, half-laying in one of the couches, with his back against the armrest and his legs sprawled across the rest of the space. He was smoking, and apparently, had just finished a bottle of firewhiskey. Although Remus didn’t want to find anyone on his way to beautiful, needed sleep, he was glad it was just Sirius there and not the whole _Why Are You So Lame, Moony_ squad. He didn’t feel like explaining his antisocial practices to a bunch of intoxicated teenagers. Just not today, please.

He approached the other boy, and sat at the far end of the sofa after lifting Sirius’ legs and placing them on his lap. Sirius let out a drag of smoke, and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t quite sure how to do so. Remus half smiled at him and then drifted his eyes to the front, avoiding the insistent temptation to look at Sirius until he could memorize every single detail of his face and body.

“Why aren’t you in bed, Pads?”, Remus asked, tilting his head. His mind instantly wandered onto a fantasy where Sirius’ glances meant more than friendship and every one of his touches expressed more and more and more.

“Couldn’t sleep”, was all Remus got, though he was used to these short answers by now. Sirius had been acting weird lately. Sometimes, he would get all touchy and clingy with Remus, while others he acted as if the werewolf’s sole presence was reason enough to get him mad and annoyed. Remus didn’t understand what he had done wrong in order to develop that attitude on Sirius, but they had known each other for almost five years, and he knew how Sirius feelings were in constant change due to the pressure his family put on him and his impulsive personality. Anyways, that was what he thought was the reason of the odd tension between them.

Remus murmured something that sounded like “hmm” before they both fell into silence. In another situation, it could have been uncomfortable, but Remus was tired (of Sirius’ behavior, classes and existence itself), and the moon was close, so he allowed exhaustion to take him and closed his eyes for what he promised were going to be _just a couple of minutes._ But, as said before, Remus rarely got what the wanted, so the peaceful silence quickly became Sirius rambling on his own and drifting Remus from his rest.

“It’s just...” he mumbled, moving his hands over his legs while he lifted them from Remus lap and hugged them to himself. “Rem, I…”

“What is it, Padfoot?” As usual, Remus remained patient, waiting for the boy next to him to order his thoughts and say whatever had been bothering him.

“I can’t take it anymore”. Remus brows furrowed. What couldn’t he take anymore? Then his thoughts took a dangerous road, and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe properly. Was Sirius done with him? Had he finally acknowledged what being friends with a werewolf really meant? Had he regretted all the efforts he had taken just to make Remus’ full moons less painful? “No, stop it. It’s not that”, he said.

Remus looked at him, all his worry clearly written all over his face. “What?”

“Whatever you’re thinking. Stop it. Moony, fuck, you still think you’re not good enough for me, for us? Do you, seriously, still think I could let you go?” Sirius stretched his legs again and moved slightly closer. “Don’t you know I’m that selfish?”, he whispered, so quietly Remus didn’t hear it.

“I-I’d understand if you did. I mean, Sirius if you- “.

“For Godric’s sake, Moony it’s not that! Of course, you wouldn’t notice. Of fucking course. It’s not that I don’t want to be friends with you anymore, or whatever self-deprecating bullshit you were thinking about this time. It’s not that. It’s entirely not that”. Sirius ran his hands through his hair with so much force Remus actually worried he was hurting himself. However, that thought lasted just a second, because if the sole aspect of Remus being a werewolf wasn’t the reason why Sirius had been acting so weirdly, then what was it? What had he done?

“Then what, huh? You’ve been so weird lately, Pads. Sometimes you-you can’t stop touching me and you’re always leaning into me, or touching my arm, or my hair or my leg, and then you won’t even look at me! I don’t understand it. Fuck, what did I do?” Remus didn’t notice he had approached Sirius as he spoke angrily. Weeks of worry and anger taking the best of him. “What is it, Pads?” But it appeared as if Sirius had lost all ability to talk. He stared blankly at Remus, and the last one gave him an exasperated glance before running his hands through his hair and getting on his feet. “Well, whatever, I’m going to bed. Talk to me when you’ve decided what to do with our friendship”.

Remus could barely take a few steps before he was roughly shoved into the closest wall, with a warm body pinning him against it. Sirius’ lips were hard on his own, more than kissing him, devouring him, and leaving him breathless after a few seconds.

“Fuck” Sirius mumbled against Remus lips, smiling widely. He was so fucking crazy, Remus sometimes thought he couldn’t take it. “Fuck”, he laughed and leaned forward until his forehead touched Remus’, but he jumped apart a moment later as if just noticing what he had done. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” he ran his hands through his hair. “I’m so sorry, Moons, I’m so sorry. Fuck I’ve ruined it. Fuck”. He walked apart, turning his back to Remus, who remained still.

He couldn’t decide whether he was supposed to jump of mere happiness because _fuck Sirius must feel the same way_ or because his best friend was freaking out after giving him the best kiss of his entire life, even if it was just rough touches between tongues and teeth that barely lasted ten seconds.

Gathering all his Gryffindor courage, Remus stepped closer and hugged Sirius from behind, who instantly stopped cursing himself and stood very, very silent, resembling a statue. Remus placed a light kiss on Sirius’ neck then. And when he didn’t receive any negative respond, he delivered another one and another one, until he began a trace of lips and tongue all over the available skin.

After a few seconds, Sirius impatiently turned around and held Remus’ face between his hands. Their mouths encountered each other once again, and they easily melted into a sweet, sweet kiss that tasted like cigarettes, liquor and everything that feels good and forbidden.

“Is this what you meant?” Remus asked, living another path of kisses along Sirius’ jaw, neck and ear.

“De-definitely” Sirius answered breathlessly, wrapping his arms around Remus’ waist, and melting into a fantasy he had been wishing for far too long. Any anger or resentment easily forgotten.


End file.
